Figuring it out
A friend of mine had posted about feeling like she was failing at adulting after a family gathering because her family "all own houses and have steady work and have their shit together" while she is "unemployed and trying to figure [her] life out."
I wrote this post, but didn't want to comment directly on her status, because after several completely deleted drafts it turned into a long rant.
Here's that rant.
Figuring your life out is the most important thing you can do, but it doesn't happen all at once and it never ends once you do. Self evolves over time. Just be the best version of YOU that YOU can be every day. Some days the best me that I can be means I woke up and took a shower before falling back into bed and questioning why I exist. Some days I go to work and appear to be productive while actually accomplishing nothing and feeling as if whatever is left of my soul is bleeding out through my eyes. Owning a house, having a steady job, these aren't my life. They're facets of my life. If I didn't have them I would still be an adult, and every time I see my self in the mirror I wonder how the hell anybody could consider me "responsible". I didn't get the manual, I don't know if other people did or if they're just better at faking than I am. Sometimes people tell me that I'm so lucky and so together and doing so well and I wonder what the hell they're looking at, because it doesn't feel that way. It feels like a godsdamn roller coaster. Every single day I'm just a tiny teeter away from falling and breaking into a billion pieces, or taking a duck to the face, or having the greatest adventure I'll ever know. There is infinite possibility before you. Don't give up, and never let anybody say you're not doing it right... because they're not you. They haven't lived your life. You did. Every single day, one day at a time. You took the long way, and you're still here. You woke up today. Congratulations!
A day in the life
Lets pretend my day is a 24hr comic for a second...
00:00 (sleep)
06:40 Wake up late, scramble wildly for clothing, drive to a train and then
07:20 train ride
08:30 Welcome to New York! (rushing hordes of people headed to the subway)
09:35 This is odd, I'm still waiting for the bus. Oh well, I'll get there eventually
10:00 [Film missing]
11:50 (int: elevator, trolley with large shipping boxes) YAY! things to unpack!
12:30 Finally done unpacking... Time to work on switch configs like a boss!
12:35 NOPE! Time to go work on some useless UI issue that is a convenience problem!
13:45 Saved from UI issue by... zomgholyshit virus is eating the shared drives wtfbbq!!1
14:20 Killed it once...
14:50 Twice....
15:20 Three times a virusssss... I loooooooooove youuuuuuu
14:45 Oh, now someone actually managed to get the fileserver to run it? Thats cool. I'll just connect and HERPDERP 100%CPU NOFIXLOL!
16:15 Finally killed the damn thing. Fuck that virus! Oh well... I might be able to write some configs at least
16:17 Oh, sure! I would love to go install that wireless access for you
16:20 We don't have any more WAPs!@? I guess I'll go through the junk pile and reprogram one.
17:10 *beep beep* "I'm in the car already!" *hurried packing and stumbling out the door*
18:23 on the train home (train was supposed to leave 10 minutes ago)
My day was useful fulfilling calm "interesting".
How was yours?
Funny Guy
Sometimes I make stupid analogies that make me laugh. Here's a recent example:
dracoling: let me put it this way
dracoling: it's like building a car out of blenders
dracoling: sure, I guess if you add enough duct tape and chop the blenders into the right shape you might be able to get it to pretend to be a car... sorta
dracoling: but it's never going to be a good car
My Trip to Las Vegas
Las Vegas is a place like none other. I felt, therefore, that the best way to document my trip would be to tweet about my experience, in real time, exclusively in Haiku.
Below are my Haikus, taken directly from my Twitter account, in chronological order.
[10:48 PM EST March 11th, 2011]:
Oasis of sin, you are where I want to be. Viva Las #Vegas. #Haiku
[12:51 PM EST March 12th, 2011]:
Neon lights abound. No shoes? No shirt? No problem! Las #Vegas sunrise. #haiku.
[01:09 AM EST March 13th, 2011]:
And that's the last zip. I'm packed and ready to go. #Vegas, here we come. #haiku
[05:44 AM EDT March 13th, 2011]:
Waiting at the gate. On the plane I'll close my eyes. Las #Vegas dreaming. #haiku
[07:22 AM EDT March 13th, 2011]:
Our flight got delayed. We would have missed our connect. Now we fly direct. #Vegas #haiku
[02:21 PM EDT March 13th, 2011]:
Landed in #Vegas. By the time I send this tweet, you know I'll be drunk. #haiku
[05:19 PM EDT March 13th, 2011]:
#Vegas vacation: the festivities begin. Rock hard at #HardRock.
[07:08 PM EDT March 13th, 2011]:
No swimming bathing or other use of facility after dark. #haiku
[02:18 AM EDT March 14th, 2011]:
Going to the club. Vanity, dancing, drinking. God blesses the youth. #Vegas #haiku
[02:45 AM EDT March 14th, 2011]:
Waiting in the line to ask the big bouncer guy about the door line. #Vanity #HardRock #Vegas #Haiku
[05:06 AM EDT March 14th, 2011]:
Didn't get in club. Won a fortune's worth of life. God bless Las #Vegas. #haiku
[02:34 PM EDT March 14th, 2011]:
Awake and drinking. Zack made us morning cocktails. Sip these. Don't shoot it. #Vegas #Haiku
[01:58 AM EDT March 15th, 2011]:
Lucky 6 and 8. She hit 5 points in a row. She's my golden goose. #Vegas #craps
[04:15 PM EDT March 16th, 2011]:
Love how, in #Vegas, the waitress says good morning at one-ten P M. #haiku #Denny's
[04:25 PM EDT March 16th, 2011]:
Like a champion, like a champion that is fo' sho'. I'm #winning. #Vegas #haiku
[04:27 PM EDT March 17th, 2011]:
And she is drinking like she's never drank before. She is #biwinning. #Vegas #haiku
I have no recollection of anything that occurred after that last tweet. The next thing I remember, I was waking up on the plane after landing back in Newark.
Yeah, it was a great trip.
-DLZ
Ubuntu
Because it's good for you.
That is all.
Edit: I have been using Ubuntu almost exclusively since starting my new job, 2 months ago. I love it. It definitely requires a little bit more comfort with the way computers work than a cotton-candy operating system such as Windows or OSX. However, once you get over the intimidation of a black terminal (and practice a little with vimtutor) it's really a very nice operating system for the up-and-coming technical elite. I'm sure once I get more comfortable with it, I may find that I enjoy some of the more "Hard Core" Linux flavors, as I believe Ubuntu is considered "cotton-candy" in the Linux world. However, for someone who is just getting their feet wet in the Dark Side Hot Tub, I'm quite pleased.
The happiest time of the year
Tastykake pumpkin pie is back!
This is one of my favorite reasons for never moving out of the greater Philadelphia region. It's like a birthday present that lasts for 3 months of the year and I get to share it with my friends.
Om nom nom nom.
Thoughts on a sleepy morning
Last night I made a whole bunch of paper stars. Paper stars are awesome. They're cute, simple, easy to make, and yet for some reason people get happy just playing with them. I love crafting things, for some reason just following some simple instructions and making something out of something else impresses the hell out of certain people.
Today's shirt: Nuclear Physics (from shirt.woot!)
I’m in a mood
16:35:50 dracoling: what's up tonight? we hanging out or going to the gym at least?
16:35:59 scottmon81: sure
16:40:25 scottmon81: when u getting in?
16:40:33 dracoling: NEVAR!@#
16:40:36 dracoling: err, I mean
16:40:37 dracoling: 7ish
16:40:42 scottmon81: lol
16:40:54 dracoling: yeah, I'm in a mood today
16:41:02 scottmon81: lol
16:41:08 scottmon81: ooo a mood
16:41:11 dracoling: err... uhm
16:41:30 dracoling: I think I need you to take me to my house so that I can set the internet back up
16:41:41 scottmon81: mm kk'
16:41:43 dracoling: dad just emailed me that he unplugged everything
16:42:15 dracoling: and mom called like 20 minutes ago from PA like "yeah, the car... tire... blah blah blah... pennsylvania... blah blah... things"
16:42:24 scottmon81: yuck
16:42:32 dracoling: and I was all "yes. call someone who can things"
16:42:50 scottmon81: nothing u can do
16:42:53 dracoling: and she goes "okaaaaay.... but I just wanted to make sure that you .... blah blah blah blah"
16:43:04 dracoling: she called kb, who is better be there already
16:43:31 dracoling: I said I would stay at the office until 5 to danny... but I want to leave... uhm... 2 hours ago
16:43:40 dracoling: but he's paying me overtime!
16:43:43 dracoling: so I like overtime
16:43:45 scottmon81: woot overtime
16:43:46 dracoling: its like money
16:43:47 dracoling: only more
16:43:50 scottmon81: it almost 5 lol
16:43:55 dracoling: did I mention I'm in a mood?
16:44:11 scottmon81: need to spin that mood out of u
16:44:12 dracoling: I think I'm gonna go have like... half a case of mountain dew and take a nap
16:44:29 dracoling: ZOMG LETZ SPIN FYER!@#!@#!@#!EQ#FQAEF@#R@R@#RAIHFWFPI@RFQ$AVQ#TT$^H#%^)*(YAEVINAWERV(*YHF@WC
16:44:38 scottmon81: lol
16:45:39 dracoling: in case you're wondering, that's the same sound you would hear if a bear and a unicorn were having a 3-way with an icecream cake... a concentrated ball of awesome exploding the universe we live in
16:46:03 dracoling: I have a pillow on my head now
