Figuring it out
A friend of mine had posted about feeling like she was failing at adulting after a family gathering because her family "all own houses and have steady work and have their shit together" while she is "unemployed and trying to figure [her] life out."
I wrote this post, but didn't want to comment directly on her status, because after several completely deleted drafts it turned into a long rant.
Here's that rant.
Figuring your life out is the most important thing you can do, but it doesn't happen all at once and it never ends once you do. Self evolves over time. Just be the best version of YOU that YOU can be every day. Some days the best me that I can be means I woke up and took a shower before falling back into bed and questioning why I exist. Some days I go to work and appear to be productive while actually accomplishing nothing and feeling as if whatever is left of my soul is bleeding out through my eyes. Owning a house, having a steady job, these aren't my life. They're facets of my life. If I didn't have them I would still be an adult, and every time I see my self in the mirror I wonder how the hell anybody could consider me "responsible". I didn't get the manual, I don't know if other people did or if they're just better at faking than I am. Sometimes people tell me that I'm so lucky and so together and doing so well and I wonder what the hell they're looking at, because it doesn't feel that way. It feels like a godsdamn roller coaster. Every single day I'm just a tiny teeter away from falling and breaking into a billion pieces, or taking a duck to the face, or having the greatest adventure I'll ever know. There is infinite possibility before you. Don't give up, and never let anybody say you're not doing it right... because they're not you. They haven't lived your life. You did. Every single day, one day at a time. You took the long way, and you're still here. You woke up today. Congratulations!