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Morning, Sunshine!: Experiment #001

Posted by dracoling

Welcome to the Morning Sunshine Experiment. I'm going to try every energy drink I can get my hands on... one at a time and rank them (primarily based on taste).

The first contestant: Full Throttle - Citrus Flavor

Bad Day in a Can
Bad Day in a Can

The following are my quotes on IRC while engaging in this experiment...

12:32 < dracoling> oh my god
12:32 < dracoling> how the fuck do they get the taste of "FML" in a can!?
12:34 < dracoling> NewsFlash
12:35 < dracoling> Full Throttle "Citrus" flavor still tastes like distilled self-hatred with a mild carbonation kick
12:35 < nullren> dracoling: that sounds like some cheap, prison hooch
12:36 < dracoling> prison hooch tastes better
12:43 < dracoling> AGH@#!$ this fucking eviljuice is attacking my heart
12:43 < dracoling> why does this always happen when I drink this shit?
12:43  * dracoling drinks more
12:43 < nullren> because you do that
12:43 < nullren> most people, when something is attacking their heart, they stop it
12:44 < dracoling> this needs vodka
12:44 < dlz> not dracoling
12:44 < dlz> he's hardcore
12:44 < dlz> HARD
12:44 < dlz> CORE
12:44 < dracoling> xxHARDCORExx
12:44 < dlz> HAR DUH
12:44 < dlz> KOR EH
12:45 < dracoling> 'panthothenic acid'
12:45 < dracoling> does that mean acid of the gods?
12:46 < dracoling> man, I hope the other can I bought tastes better
12:49 < dracoling> ow. goddamnit... fuckow...
12:50 < dracoling> must. finish. energy. drink. before. dying.
13:05 < dracoling> I was just told I look mad strung out
13:05 < dracoling> fuck yes
13:05 < dracoling> lol
13:05 < dracoling> "dude, you're drinking that full throttle shit again? You may as well just do an 8-ball!"
14:24 < dracoling> hokay so
14:24 < dracoling> I'm fecking tired now
14:24 < dracoling> stupid energy drink

I give this horrible taste abortion -100 points. It feels like I'm paying for my sins or something and I didn't even get a good buzz.